Friday, September 12, 2014

Chapter I. The small house on a highland (part 1)

My dear Mrs. Katia,
This week was a long one with many assignments and meetings, I have not engaged in any major conversation for 5 days straight except saying "Hello", "Hi", "See you", "Have a nice day.". Therefore, I think there is no new progress to update via this blog for now. Instead, I will start writing a little story that I made up. Of course I promise I will have something to write about learning English next week.

<I will think of a tittle later>

Chapter I. The small house on a highland


Sounds of the ravens.

On a dark night, in a graveyard.

"Ugh..My whole body hurts.", he whimpers,
"Why it is so hard to move my arms? Why I can't open my eyes? What's happened? My head hurt so bad. Agrrr.. what is this smell?"

Lying on the ground, the man tries to move his arms and legs, but they are numb. It feels like most of his bones were broken down to pieces. Every little move hurts him badly and he still can not open his eyes, nor hear anything at all. However, he can clearly feel the sticky cold fluid that clings on his hands every where he can reach and its disgusting smell. It gives him the urge to vomit everything inside his stomach, if he has any.

The last instinct tells him to get out of this disgusting sticky place, by all means possible, even if it means that he must crawl on all four with all the strength left in his muscles. However, it does not last long, as the terrible pains strikes him down, make him lies on his back, breaths difficultly. 

"Where I am? Why am I here? Is this hell or something? Who am I?" His mind is filled with questions he can not answer, while agonizing, from feet to neck. 

Then a small sound hits the ears. He doesn't know what is that, even in this mostly silence world, that sound still does not loud enough for him to recognize, nor to tell where it is coming from, his left or his right. However, the sound gradually becomes louder, and louder, until he realizes that is the gurgling croak from a raven. No. Not one but a bunch of them. 

Their calls becomes so big, so noisy that it seems like there are thousands of those black birds around and above him. 

"Ravens! this must be hell. I must be in hell already." is the first of his thoughts. 

For the first time since he backed to his sense, he doesn't feel pain anymore. The wind can hear his sighs as he put all of his strength left to open his arms as wide as he can, so the devil can come and end this suffering. 

"COME TO ME, END THIS!", a loudly thought busts out of his mind. 

The noisy, harassing calls of the ravens seem closer and even louder every moment. With his eyes are still closed, or so, maybe he is blinded already, he waits for thousands of beaks to stab into his chest, his thighs, his face and tear his flesh apart, then kill him in the most painful way possible. He doesn't afraid at all for there is only emptiness inside his head. No thinking, just waiting. 

Suddenly, there is a clear disturbance in those noise, like they are being banished away by someone, or something. He can not see but he can feel that. 

"THERE IS SOMEONE STILL ALIVE HEREEE, OLD FARTTTT!!!", a lound, high-pitched and tremulous woman voice breaks down the noisy sound of the ravens.

"FU FU FU, GET OUT OF HERE YOU FILTHY BIRDS, THIS YOUNG LAD HERE IS NOT EVEN DEAD YET!", she yells again.

It seems like she is casting away the birds and her heavy footsteps indicates that she is running over him really fast. Only seconds later, he can feel his head being lifted gently up by a wrinkled hand, and another wrinkled hand touch his for head. 

"HE IS HAVING A FEVER, COME HERE NOW OLD FARTTT.", her highly pitched voice almost tears his left ear apart. 

"w...wh..o....ar......y...yo...ou....", he mumbles some nonsense words out of his mouth, with all his breath. 

"Save your breath, young man, you are safe now, we will take care of you. Me and Old Fart will take care of you." The old woman speaks to him, with a softer voice this time. He doesn't know why but her voice reminds him of someone very dear to him a long time ago. Her voice and caring gesture gives him the feel of an orphan in its mom's hands, safe and caring. He instantly feel that he trust this woman more than anything in the world right now. 

<to be continued>


5 comments:

  1. Katia, do you think I should use past simple tense in this story or present simple tense is also okay?

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  2. The story was easy to follow and I did not notice anything wrong with using Present Tense. I will be expecting a continuation!
    In addition, there is more expert advice on this page:
    http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/the-pros-and-cons-of-writing-a-novel-in-present-tense

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, it seems like the present tense makes the story less interesting and selective, but leaves a feeling that the events are happening consequently with our timeline. Both of them are very good features. Hmmm. I will try them both then.

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  3. I think you can also go ahead with sharing your stories online or even publishing. Maybe you can become a writer in your spare time, apart from being a scientist. Just an idea!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good idea! I will need more feedback from people to adjust my writing. Thank you

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